#TalkAboutItTuesday – 8 Behaviors of Phenomenally Successful People! Courtesy of @Inc

Being successful is a choice. Below, Jeff Haden provides 8 behaviors of Phenomenally Successful People.

You can be an analytical, data-driven, steely-eyed businessperson all you like, but business is ultimately about people.

That means business is also about emotions: yours and those of the people you interact with every day.

Incredibly successful people make a huge difference not just in their own lives but also in the lives of the people they care about, both professionally and personally.

Here’s how:

1. They answer the unasked question.

Maybe she’s hesitant. Maybe he’s insecure, or shy. Whatever the reason, people often ask a different question than the one they really want you to answer.

One employee might ask if you think he should take a few business classes; what he really wants to know is whether you see him as able to grow in the organization. He hopes the answer is yes, and he hopes you’ll share the reasons why.

Your husband might ask if you thought the woman at the party was flirting with him; what he really wants to know is if you still think he’s flirt-worthy and whether you still find him attractive. He hopes you’ll say you do, and he’ll love it when you share the reasons why.

Behind many questions is an unasked question.

Pay attention to that question, too, because that’s the one the other person might really need answered.

2. They refuse to wait.

You don’t have to wait to be discovered. You don’t have to wait for an okay. You don’t have to wait for someone else to help you.

You can try to do whatever you want to do right now. You may not succeed. But you don’t have to wait.

Don’t wait.

3. They appreciate the unappreciated.

Some jobs require more effort than skill. Bagging groceries, delivering packages, checking out customers — the tasks are relatively easy. The difference is in the effort.

Do more than say thanks to someone who does a thankless job. Smile. Make eye contact. Exchange a kind word.

All around you are people who work hard with little or no recognition. Vow to be the person who recognizes at least one of them every day.

Not only will you give respect, you’ll earn the best kind of respect in return — the respect that comes from making a difference, however fleeting, in another person’s life.

4. They give latitude instead of direction.

You’re in charge. You know what to do. So it’s natural to tell your employees what to do and how to do it. But in the process you’ll stifle their creativity and discount their skills and experience.

Letting another person decide how is the best way to show you respect their abilities and trust their judgment.

In a command-and-control world, latitude is a breath of freedom and is a gift anyone can give.

5. They stop and smell their roses.

You have big plans. You have big goals. You’re never satisfied, because satisfaction breeds complacency.

So most of the time you’re unhappy, because you think more about what you have not achieved, have not done, and do not have.

Take a moment to think about what you do have, professionally and especially personally. At this moment you have more than you once ever thought possible.

Sure, always strive for more but don’t forget to take a moment to realize that all the things you have, especially your relationships, are more important than anything you want to have.

Unlike a want, what you have isn’t a hope, a wish, or a dream. What you already have is real.

And it’s awesome. And it’s yours.

Appreciate it.

6. They look beneath the surface.

Sometimes people make mistakes. Sometimes they piss you off.

When that happens it’s natural to assume they didn’t listen or didn’t care. But often there’s a deeper reason. They may feel stifled. They may feel they have no control. They may feel frustrated or marginalized or ignored or not cared for.

If you’re in charge, whether at work or home, you may need to deal with their mistake. But then look past the action for the underlying issues.

Anyone can dole out discipline; vow to provide understanding, empathy, and to help the other person deal with the larger issue that led to the mistake.

After all, you might have caused the issue.

7. They make love a verb.

You love your work. When you’re working, that feeling shows in everything you say and do.

You love your family. When you’re with them, does that feeling show in everything you say and do?

Hmm.

Love is a feeling, and feelings are often selfish. Turn your feelings into action. Actively love the people you love. Show them you love them by words and deeds.

When you make love a verb, the people you care about know exactly how you feel. Make sure they do.

8. They try only to be themselves.

You worry about what other people think. (Don’t feel bad — I’m sure I do that as much as anyone.) Yet no matter how hard you try, you can’t be all things to all people.

But you can be as many things as possible to the people you love.

And you can be the best you.

Be yourself. That is the one thing you can do better than anyone else.

Do you agree?

Source: Inc.com

#SoulfulSundays #MothersDay #AMothersLove

There is no definition for the greatness of a mother.

There’s no gem or jewel as precious as that of a mother’s heart.

There are not enough words to define a mother’s best wishes for her child. 

There is no flower as beautiful as a mother’s soul.

A mother’s love is a life line that supports us through the years.

Unconditional and infinite is my mother’s heart and love.

Happy mothers day to all maternal, paternal, like a mom, step mom, dad’s like a mom and everything in between! 

Mom, I love you.  Thank you for being such a great force and inspiration in my life. You faced adversity and always made sure your children were well taken care of and most of all loved.

Happy Mother’s Day!

#ThankfulThursday #LaughLiveLove

Today I’m thankful for all those who make my life more meaningful.

I have a lot of family and friends who I admire and love with all my heart. Today is dedicated to them all!

I thank you all for your time and appreciation.  You add value to my life and share a happiness with me that words can’t express.

My friends who have become my siblings through love, I thank you for every conversation, every piece of advice, being a shoulder to cry on or rest my head on when I’ve been tired and the tears that turned from sorrow to joy and laughter.

Today and everyday I’m grateful for you all. There’s a lot of change on the horizon…all for the best and I look  forward to walking this journey with you by my side or cheering me on.

It may not make sense to some but it will soon enough.

#LaughLiveLove

#StressFreeSundays #LightsCameraAction #JustDoIt

For me, Sundays are a time of reflection and planning. As I reflect on the past week I think of all the times I was challenged. I had my patience tried a few times but through all the negativity I managed to separate myself from the emotion of the moment and not take things personal. It’s an amazing experience and liberating feeling when I do this. By releasing the tension it allows me to start planning for the week ahead. I list the top 5 tasks/items I’d like to see completed by the end of the upcoming week and focus on them.

This allows me to focus on working towards accomplishing goals I’ve set out for myself. We all know a house isn’t built overnight, the foundation needs to be set so the house will be a sound structure. This is the approach I’ve recently taken with goals. Take the time to build the foundation and your ventures will have a greater chance of success ultimately allowing you to see your dreams materialize.

Another way to think of it is like filming a movie production. Turn on the lights, that’s when you turn your mind on to you your dream. Cameras are needed to pinpoint the scene, that’s when you focus on your goal at hand. Now the last one needs no explanation, ‘Action’. That’s when you start making it all happen. Don’t worry about how many ‘takes’ and ‘breaks’ you take. Don’t stress on the editing, that’s where you get a chance to revisit your goal and action plan and rework some areas. Just know it will all work out and when it’s all done you’ll be able look at what you’ve created and move on to the sequel or next new production!

Dreams without action are just dreams. Denzel Washington

Stop dreaming big and start doing!!

#TalkAboutItTuesday #BaltimoreRiots #WhatsGoingOn

It’s so sad to see the eruption of violence that has occurred due to the frustrations of voices going unheard.  So much could be said but will it only fall onto deaf ears?  To watch people tear apart their own city is heart breaking but what’s even more disturbing is knowing that after the cameras have gone and the hype is over, who is going to build the city that was just torn down?

All that said, communication is a vital component to potentially defusing explosive reactions. Not just talking but also listening to another person’s view.  You may not agree but in fairness everyone has a voice, everyone should have an opportunity to be heard. Though we often let our emotions guide us in life, talking about matters is better than looking for a rug to sweep matters under.  #TalkAboutItTuesday #AllLivesMatter

#MajesticMondays #BeautyWithin #HoldOn

Flowers don’t truly serve a utilitarian purpose yet they’re one of the most valued items on our earth.  We’re fascinated by the unique beauty each one holds.  What I find fascinating is how they’re delicate to touch yet resilient enough to endure the most extreme weather conditions. 

We often go through situations in life that will test our endurance and strength.  Much like the flower, in order to make it through trying times and the storms of life, we need to root ourselves to stay grounded, bend and twist to make it through and hold on till the bitter end.  We may get tired along the way but if we take courage and flow with the wind instead of against it, we can make it through the most treacherous conditions.

Stay faithful that the sun will shine again and you’ll look back and see how strong you truly are. #BeMajestic

 

#SaturdayMorningSpecial #NewDayNewStart

If you’ve been reading my blog all week you’ll notice I’ve had a main focus on #MentalHealth. Why? Because, from stress to emotional imbalance to depression and everything in between, it’s something we deal with every day. I want to let people know that they’re not alone in this great big world. There is someone in the world dealing with the exact same issue you are facing. It may differ slightly, it may be called something else in another language, regardless the minor differences, the issue is the same.

Today as I was reflecting about the past week and thinking about what I’m grateful for and what I could do different, this thought ran through my mind.

We often beat ourselves up about past choices and missed opportunities or when an experience feels difficult, we may think about how things use to be ‘easier’. The long and short of it is, we spend time thinking about situations we cannot change and worry about the ‘what if’s’ that haven’t happened.

Try this; take a new sheet of letter sized paper and crumple it up into a ball. Now take that crumpled sheet, straighten and flatten it out into a new piece of paper. You can flatten it out so you can write on it again but you can’t make it look or feel new again. At that point you can make a choice to write and rewrite on that once new but now crumpled sheet of paper or you can get a new sheet and start fresh.

The way I see it is this, the moment we open our eyes to a new day, those first few thoughts when we wake will decide if you should reuse a crumpled sheet of paper which represents past pains and worries or grab a new sheet to organize our thoughts clearly and efficiently.

Too often we reach for that crumpled reused sheet and keep re-writing on until it becomes illegible making it difficult to tell the difference between an old thought from a new experience.

I’ve been guilty of letting negative memories consume me in the past. Thinking of all the things that I didn’t do and concerned about getting an opportunity to do them in the future. Thankfully I’m able to stop the crumpling effect, recognize there is a new sheet and invest time in the moment. It’s taken me my whole life of *classified information* years to learn this. Hopefully it has helped you too! #Thankful #FeelingBlessed

#BeCourageous #BeKind #YoureNotAlone

#FreeUpYourselfFriday like @AntoniqueSmith #HoldUpWaitAMinute

The word Friday always puts me in a great mood! Why? It’s the introduction to a couple of days of rest and relaxation or the prelude to celebrating life with family and friends.  Either way, it’s a welcomed feeling!

Take time to #FreeUpYourself for a moment and let the stress of the past week become a distant memory and the concerns of the week ahead remain a mystery.  Enjoy the moment you’re in, you will never get another one like it….or maybe you will, what do I know?  Either way, #FreeYourself #EnjoyTheMoment #BeHappy!

#FreeUpYourself with Antonique Smith’s ‘Hold Up Wait a Minute’

#ThankfulThursdays – #MentalHealth #CountingMyBlessings #StandUp #StandOut

I’m thankful for all of my experiences; the not so good times and all the great ones.  More than anything, I’m thankful for knowing my worth. It took some time but once I started valuing my life as the precious jewel that it is, I started to enjoy every moment. It’s when I stopped looking for ‘something’ or ‘someone’ to make me happy that I was able to allow myself to be happy – now I am able to find positivity and happiness in so many things everyday.  Like anything of value, I am a ‘work in progress’ (as most of us are) and I know I’m not quite finished but at least I’m better than I was before.

My faith in God is what keeps me going. Though there are daily reminders of the hurt and pain in the world, it’s through faith that I keep hope alive.  Some people would rather push you down then help you up and compete against you when they’re not even on the same level as you.  My suggestion, let them keep doing what they do, just keep yourself focused on what you’re doing.  Never try to out-shine someone, just strive to do better than you did before and you’ll shine naturally.  If someone is busy watching what you’re doing, then they’re not paying attention to what they’re not doing and missing out on the same opportunities they’re trying to take from you. #ThankfulThursday

#WeAreOneWednesdays – Bringing #Awareness to #MentalHealth

It’s important to remember that, apart from our obvious visible differences, we are the same on the inside.  For this reason, it is so important to treat each other with love and respect.  We may not agree in opinions and beliefs but we can agree to disagree and keep the flow of life going.

Let’s encourage each other to be the best person we can be and let’s celebrate the life we’ve been given.  Don’t wait till someone has passed away to say how important they were to you.  Share your love with them and tell them how important they are to you now. #WeAreOneWednesday

#TalkAboutItTuesday – #MentalHealthMatters #TenCommonMyths @CMHA_NTL @CMHAOntario

Tuesdays are #TalkAboutItTuesday!  So let’s talk.

There are a number of myths and false claims about #MentalHealthIllnesses – Let’s shine a light on this matter and let’s work at developing an environment where people feel comfortable to talk about their issues.

Here are Ten Common Myths about mental illnesses (from Canadian Mental Health Association)

Myth #1: Mental illnesses aren’t real illnesses.

Fact: The words we use to describe mental illnesses have changed greatly over time. What hasn’t changed is the fact that mental illnesses are not the regular ups and downs of life. Mental illnesses create distress, don’t go away on their own, and are real health problems with effective treatments. When someone breaks their arm, we wouldn’t expect them to just “get over it.” Nor would we blame them if they needed a cast, sling, or other help in their daily life while they recovered.

Myth #2: Mental illnesses will never affect me.

Fact: All of us will be affected by mental illnesses. Researchers estimate that as many as one in five Canadians will experience a mental illness at some point in their life. You may not experience a mental illness yourself, but it’s very likely that a family member, friend, or co-worker will experience challenges.

Myth #3: Mental illnesses are just an excuse for poor behaviour.

Fact: It’s true that some people who experience mental illnesses may act in ways that are unexpected or seem strange to others. We need to remember that the illness, not the person, is behind these behaviours. No one chooses to experience a mental illness. People who experience a change in their behaviour due to a mental illness may feel extremely embarrassed or ashamed around others. It’s also true that people with a history of a mental illness are like anyone else: they may make poor choices or do something unexpected for reasons unrelated to symptoms of their illness.

Myth #4: Bad parenting causes mental illnesses.

Fact: No one factor can cause mental illnesses. Mental illnesses are complicated conditions that arise from a combination of genetics, biology, environment, and life experiences. Family members and loved ones do have a big role in support and recovery.

Myth #5: People with mental illnesses are violent and dangerous.

Fact: Some people try to predict violence so they know what to avoid. However, the causes of violence are complicated. Researchers agree that mental illnesses are not a good predictor of violence. In fact, if we look at mental illnesses on their own, people who experience a mental illness are no more violent than people without a mental illness.Excluding people from communities is linked to violence. And people with mental illnesses are often among those who are excluded. It’s also important to note that people who experience mental illnesses are much more likely to be victims of violence than to be violent.

Myth #6: People don’t recover from mental illnesses.

Fact: People can and do recover from mental illnesses. Today, there are many different kinds of treatments, services, and supports that can help. No one should expect to feel unwell forever. The fact is, people who experience mental illnesses can and do lead productive, engaged lives. They work, volunteer, or contribute their unique skills and abilities to their communities. Even when people experience mental illnesses that last for a long time, they can learn how to manage their symptoms so they can get back to their goals. If someone continues to experience many challenges, it may be a sign that different approaches or supports are needed.

Myth #7: People who experience mental illnesses are weak and can’t handle stress.

Fact: Stress impacts well-being, but this is true for everyone. People who experience mental illnesses may actually be better at managing stress than people who haven’t experienced mental illnesses. Many people who experience mental illnesses learn skills like stress management and problem-solving so they can take care of stress before it affects their well-being. Taking care of yourself and asking for help when you need it are signs of strength, not weakness.

Myth #8: People who experience mental illnesses can’t work.

Fact: Whether you realize it or not, workplaces are filled with people who have experienced mental illnesses. Mental illnesses don’t mean that someone is no longer capable of working. Some people benefit from changes at work to support their goals, but many people work with few supports from their employer. Most people who experience serious mental illnesses want to work but face systemic barriers to finding and keeping meaningful employment.

Myth #9: Kids can’t have a mental illness like depression. Those are adult problems

Fact: Even children can experience mental illnesses. In fact, many mental illnesses first appear when a person is young. Mental illnesses may look different in children than in adults, but they are a real concern. Mental illnesses can impact the way young people learn and build skills, which can lead to challenges in the future. Unfortunately, many children don’t receive the help they need.

Myth #10: Everyone gets depressed as they grow older. It’s just part of the aging process.

Fact: Depression is never an inevitable part of aging. Older adults may have a greater risk of depression because they experience so many changes in roles and social networks. If an older adult experiences depression, they need the same support as anyone else.

These myths—and many more—exclude people with mental illnesses from our communities and create barriers to well-being. If we want to reduce the impact of mental illnesses on our communities, we need to learn the facts and start with our own assumptions and behaviours.

What can I do about it?

Changing attitudes and behaviours takes time, and it might seem like one person can’t possibly make a difference. Actually, we can all find small ways to help.

First, we can all think about where our information comes from. News stories, TV shows, movies, and other media don’t necessarily give you the whole story. These stories are usually sensational or shocking because that’s what sells—but they don’t necessarily represent most people’s experiences. Thinking critically about where our information comes from can help us separate sensational stories from balanced points of view.

Second, we can all support laws and practices in our communities that stop discrimination against people with mental illnesses and promote inclusion.

Third, we can all spend time with people who experience mental illnesses to share and learn from each other. This is best when everyone is in an equal position of power. Volunteering with a community organization is a great way to connect with others.

Do you need more help?

There are many organizations and groups that offer support and resources worldwide.  The Canadian Mental Health Association is one of them.  They have locations across Canada with a caring team of people who are able to help you!

Source: Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA)

#MajesticMondays – #MentalHealthMatters #YouAreNotAlone #FreeYourMind

From the time we take our first breath to the moment we take our last, we are constantly affected by #MentalHealthMatters.  Experiences in our lives will either motivate us to aim for higher heights or de-motivate us towards rock bottom. Either way, it’s not the situation that’s the issue, it’s the choices we make in how we deal with them.

This is a topic that’s close to my heart as I’ve previously shared my brush with depression.  I never use to talk about it because it’s something that I was a bit embarrassed about and to be honest, though I was going through some things, I didn’t know why I was so down at that time. I still remember the many times I would tell my sister and friend that ‘I don’t feel like myself’ but never truly knew why.  They didn’t know what to do because really, how do you respond to something like that if you’ve never experienced it before?

After months of having a heaviness in my heart, I started drinking regularly which was uncommon for me. I would often cry without knowing what I was crying about and I couldn’t find humor in anything (which, for anyone who knows me, I love to laugh). I never wanted to be around anyone and understandably it felt like no one wanted to be around me. The scariest time is when I understood why people would resort to drugs or worse, why they would want to take their own lives.  Needless to say, times got worse before they got better but it was my faith in God that carried me through it all.  It took me about a year and a half before I started feeling like myself again and though it wasn’t easy I’m grateful I made it through.

You may wonder why I’m talking about this at all.  Well, I feel that more awareness needs to be brought to this matter as it can (and may) touch all of our lives at one point or another. If by sharing my experience will help someone feel like they’re not alone, then I’m happy to talk about it. It may not be you but you may know someone who is affected by it, even a child.  My goal is to share stories, experiences and words of encouragement with anyone touched by #Sadness #Depression #Addiction and any other #MentalHealth issue out there.

My two cents: We weren’t provided with a life manual so even though people can tell you how you ‘should react’ or ‘should handle’ situations, everyone’s experience is different so you take your time and find out what works best for you. The one thing that is certain, you are not alone. You’re able to conquer any ordeal, experience or situation you are faced with.  Fear is just an emotion that we give life to when we think about it for too long. If you can face what scares you, you can overcome and do anything. If you’re afraid of drowning, learn how to swim and combat that fear, if you’re afraid of public speaking, speak to a crowd about your passion and combat that fear. If you’re afraid of dying, embrace every moment, live each day to the fullest and combat that fear. You are in control of your life. You can make a choice, exist or live.

I’m claiming today as #MajesticMonday because it’s time to show the world all the beauty in your heart and soul!   It doesn’t matter where you came from, it’s how you finish.  We all have the opportunity to fulfill our dreams and be the change we need in our own lives and others.

Let me know what are you going to do (or what you did) today to make it Majestic?

#BeKind #BeCourageous

Speak out about #MentalHealth #ListenToSomeonesActions #YouCouldSaveALife

There’s no hiding, denying or ignoring that mental health exists and is a serious problem.

People can tell you to medicate it. Not talk about it. Stop worrying. Snap out of it. They can say anything they want to make themselves feel better being around you.

What needs to be said is…You are not alone.  Everybody hurts sometimes. Everyone feels unexplainable pain and sorrow at times. Everyone has their heartbroken at least once in their lives, maybe more.  What needs to be said is ‘take courage, you can get through it, the days may seem dark and may become darker but there will be a point when it will become brighter, just hold on. Time can heal wounds. Your life does matter.

It saddens me to hear more details about Flight 9525.  Recent news announced that co-pilot Andreas Lubitz told his Lufthansa flight training school in 2009 that he had a “previous episode of severe depression”.

If doctors diagnosed him with depression and he said things that indicated he had issues, could more have been done to help? Just like your body will tell you when something is wrong or your car will make noises when there’s an issue, people’s actions will let you know when something’s not right.  I understand everyone is responsible for their own actions but at some point in time we need to be understanding to others feelings and help them with their load. Not carry it for them but some how help them ease the burden until they can get back on their feet.

Listen to other peoples actions. If someone is acting ‘strange’, hear their cry for help.  For me, my faith in God has always been my source of light. My belief in his everlasting love and promise to always be there is what gets me through the times I call tough. Though there were some times when I felt as though no one was understanding my pain I still prayed for strength and made it through.

If you were suffering, wouldn’t you want someone to help you? Listen to other people’s actions. You could save someone’s life today.

The world is on fire with @JullyBlack #Fever (Produced by @ypalexander of @officials_mg)

Since it was first released, Jully Black’s latest track produced by Super Producer YoungPete Alexander from the Officials Music Group, “Fever” has been blazing and continues to blaze the blogosphere and radio internationally!

From the moment I heard the needle drop on this record, I was hooked!  It’s an incomparable sound with a hint of nostalgia that is sure to captivate hearts of every age.  True to Miss Black’s style, it’s sultry and sexy sound will delight your ears and satisfy your soul. She’s proving that Rnb/Soul/Urban music exists and will thrive in Canada!

What’s the only cure for this Fever? More groundbreaking music by this Canadian Icon, Jully Black!!

AVAILABLE ON ITUNES AND AMAZON!

#BHM #Fact – #OnThisDay February 6 in 1993, #TennisGreat #ArthurAshe passed away.

Celebrating Black History Month (BHM). Let’s take a moment to recognize those who had the courage and confidence to ‘take a chance’ in their own abilities.

On this day, (Feb 6th), in 1993, Arthur Robert Ashe Jr. passed away. Who is Arthur Ashe you ask?  An American World No. 1 professional tennis player who won three Grand Slam titles, ranking him among the best tennis players from the United States.

In 1963 Ashe became the first black player ever selected for the United States Davis Cup team. In 1965, ranked the number 3 player in the United States, Ashe won both the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) singles title and the doubles title (with Ian Crookenden of New Zealand), helping UCLA win the team NCAA tennis championship.1

Arthur was one of many individuals whose passion lead him to higher heights.  With a courageous heart he #Manifested his Greatness in all that he set out to achieve.  Read more about him today. http://www.arthurashe.org/

#TheMoreYouKnow

1 Source: Wikipedia